Wasn't That Love?
by g3ozLizh
Summary: How is it that one night could change a man's life forever? Sano learns it the hard way when an evening spent with Sayo conceived a new life to be born... while a love nearly fulfilling it's deepest meaning is about to die... Megumi/Sano/Sayo!
1. Prelude to a Parting

Author's Notes: 

Hi there, everybods! Yes, I have watched the whole series already plus the OVA and the movie. The only thing I haven't seen --- rather, read yet is the manga… sigh…

Okay, on with the story!

****

Wasn't That Love?

By: g3ozL!zh

Chapter 1

So this is how it feels to be hurt… to be heartbroken. Like everything suddenly comes crashing down on you and you can't do anything to stop it. You like to ignore it but it just chases after you, not releasing you from its suffocating grip. 

"Why?" That came out as a hoarse whisper. She touched her palm to her wet cheek and pressed on it, as if that alone can nullify the pain that's writhing her heart. She leaned her back heavily on the door, her whole body sagging from the horrible experience.

A vision of her confrontation with him entered her mind and that brought fresh tears to recklessly fall down in torrents. She didn't know she still have any left. "Sano…"

======

"What?!"

"It's true, Megumi----"

Megumi cut him off. "Don't try to weasel yourself out this time, Sano! I saw you… two of you… you…" Her whole body was shaking with rage, tears streaking down her already flushed face. "God! How can you do this to me?!" She dropped her shaking hand to her side, suddenly tired, exhausted.

Sanosuke tried to touch her but she jerked her shoulder away. She held up a hand, head bent. "Don't…" Merely a whisper. "Please, just go."

"But Megumi, try to hear me out---" 

"No." She looked up to him, suddenly calm. "I've heard too much of your lies, San… Sagara. I don't think I can take anymore of it."

Sano looked at her tearful face and saw the sadness and hurt from the depths of her eyes. Right then and there, all he wanted to do was turn back time and restore it to what it was before… before…

A bitter smile formed at the corners of her mouth.

_Those lips…_

"Go to her, Sano. She needs you." It took all of Megumi's willpower to say the next few words, words that she know will hurt more than anything thrown upon her face. "And you love her…" Her voice wavered to a barely audible sound. _Not me._

"Megumi…" He held her hand, and this time, to his surprise, she didn't pull away.

She moved a step closer to him and stared directly into those soulful brown eyes, eyes that she may no longer stare at after this. "Sano…" An almost genuine smile crept up her face, but it was betrayed by her true feelings. She choked out the words, "You're going to be a father…" 

Sano took a step back, dropping her hand. "Wha--" He looked at in disbelief.

"Too bad I'm not the one who bears that good news for you." A lone tear slid down her cheek. _You'll never be mine now._

"Sayo…", she swallowed the lump in her throat that was threatening to burst out. "Sayo came to Dr. Genzei just this morning and…" She forcefully closed her eyes, willing the tears not to fall. Her whole body shook from refraining her pent up emotions to overflow.

Sano suddenly crushed her to him, embracing her, wishing with all his might that he can take away all her pain… but how could he, if he was the source of all this…

Megumi returned the embrace like, for what--- once, twice…just savoring the feeling of his body close to hers, drawing everything in her mind to preserve each second, each moment, each feeling that it gives… and then she pulled away. She can't allow herself to feel anything anymore to a man that would be another man's wife very soon. When Sano protested, she just shook her head.

"No." She pressed her red lips together, as if stopping herself from saying something, something she wants very badly for Sano to know. _But not now. It's not right anymore… and never will be._ She slowly raised her head and summoned all her courage to say, "Goodbye, Sano…"

Author's Notes:

Well, a little grammar-check although I think it's not completely error-free. Corrections?


	2. Sweet Recall

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin so don't sue!

Author's Notes: 

This chapter has been improved --- grammar-wise. Ano… u.u thanks to all those who reviewed and hope that I'll still hear from you guys! 

****

If any of you know any good Sano & Megumi fics or Aoshi & Misao fics (the longer the better!), please send an email or leave it in the review section to let me know. (Most probably ones outside FanFiction.net) Arigatou!

I owe a lot to **Akai Kuu** who volunteered to be my beta-reader. Now my fic won't suck in past-present tenses!^_^

===== denotes a flashback

~*@@@*~ denotes another scene

****

Wasn't That Love?

By: g3ozLizh

Chapter 2

(This is a flashback. It's the time when Sayo --- the "lady" here --- came into their lives.)

==========

Megumi was cooking dinner when she heard a knock on the door. She made a note to herself that after answering whoever it was, she should wipe that puddle of water on the floor. Toweling her hands dry, she then went over to the main entrance. She took hold of the door, "Who could be visiting me at this time of the night?", and slid it open. "Sano?!"

"Yeah, it's me, Fox. Were you thinking of somebody else?" He stuffed his hands in his pockets and rolled on his heels, grinning at the doctor's surprised expression.

Megumi smirked, arms crossed in front of her chest, standing on one leg. "Yes, pretty much. The Sano I know doesn't recognize the need to knock even if --- "

"Hey, hey!" Sano held up his hands in mock surrender. "I know that whenever I come here to get my hands check --- "

"Mostly when I'm about to turn in."

"Well, those are emergency cases."

"And I believe _now_ is another time for one of those _cases_?" She raised an eyebrow at Sano with eyes half open. "Hmm…?" She prodded.

"Actually," He leaned on the doorframe, one foot crossing over the other, arms crossed with hands under the armpits. He eyed Megumi slyly. "I came here for another reason."

Megumi felt her cheeks turning red and was ever thankful to the dim light of the room so that Sano couldn't see how he was affecting her. "And what reason is that?" Her firm voice betrayed her true emotions. She shot him an icy glare, a glare that she hoped would send him scurrying home, but at the same time, hoping that he would just be encouraged by it and stay instead.

"Can you invite me to come in first?"

"If you wanted to come in in the first place, you could have done it without asking for my consent." She scrutinized him through slitted eyes. "You're not yourself today. Are you sure you're really Sano?"

"Okay, then." He walked past Megumi and in the room and heard the door slide shut behind him. He turned to face her. "So I'm Sano now?" He spread his arms wide to his sides as if to emphasize.

Megumi had already turned to face him. "Uh-huh." She looked amused.

"Sheesh! Do you really see me as only that?"

"Umm…" Megumi pretended to ponder about it, tilting her head to the side, eyes skyward. She looked at Sano, smiling, "Yup."

"Okay, okay." Sano rolled his eyes. 

Megumi just stood there in front of him, a bemused smile on her red lips.

Feeling Megumi's stare, he was suddenly reminded of the reason why he came to see her. He could feel the heat and blush creeping to his cheeks so he shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor, suddenly nervous.

Megumi began to feel uneasy. She had never seen Sano act like this before her, almost as if he's… shy. _Sano? Shy? Ha! That would be the day! _She bit her lips to keep from laughing. _He's got an ego as big as ----_

"Megumi…?" He was now looking at her.

The seriousness in his voice made Megumi drop her train of thoughts. She began to feel… perplexed, and something more --- which she couldn't grasp. "Yes, Sano?" Chocolate brown eyes stared down at her, making her heart thud in her chest.

Now that he got her attention, he was at a loss for words. "Uhh…" His mouth felt drained of saliva, lips dry.

She just stared questioningly back at him, waiting for him to continue.

"I… uh…" _Dammit, Sano! Just say it! Just tell her what you wanted her to know._ Taking a deep breath, he went for it --- "IjustwanttotellyouthatIreallylikeyou." --- in a rush.

Megumi stared at him as if he had suddenly hatched an egg on his head. "A _what_?"

He steadied his shaking nerves and closed his eyes to concentrate and say it. "I just want you to know how", He felt a slight movement of the air brush his side and assumed that maybe Megumi shifted position or flipped her hair… something like that. "much I really like you." When silence greeted him, he was thinking that Megumi must be so shocked that she was speechless. He opened his eyes to see --- his mouth fell open --- no Megumi.

As if on cue, a scream cut through the air and Sano was already on his heels, running towards the sound --- in the kitchen. He abruptly stopped just in the kitchen's doorway just in time to see Megumi dropping a burned dish in the sink. "Wha---"

"Ugh!" She turned to Sano, fuming. "Now look what you made me do. You made me forgot about the fish!"

As he saw her face, he couldn't help but chuckle a little for her porcelain skin was specked with black dots from the burnt fish. He couldn't help thinking how cute and innocent she looked right then, so different from her usual refined appearance.

But Megumi mistook this as an insult. "Don't you go laugh at me now." She wiped off some of the dirt with a piece of cloth. "You know what this means. No dinner for you too."

Sano grinned at that. "You mean you were planning to let me dine with you?" He couldn't help but tease her _just a bit_.

It was Megumi's turn to roll her eyes. "You might as well."

Sano's grin got wider. 

"You'll just eat here anyway, even without my permission. Typical you. So what's new?" She sounded exasperated.

Sano intentionally ignored the statement. "You really mean it?" He glanced around, talking to an invisible audience. "Has the Fox's heart grown soft?"

Megumi's voice turned icy. "Don't push your luck, Rooster-head. Just tell me if you still want to have something to eat." She shot him a cold look that could have froze water in an instant.

Seeing the deadly glare, Sano took this as a challenge. "Now, now, Foxy Lady. Don't be mad." He had a nonchalant expression on his face despite the woman's rage.

"Sano, drop it." Every syllable dripped with venom.

"What?! The Foxy Doctor backing out from a session of insults with me?" He walked towards her and tried to feel her body temperature through her forehead with his hand.

Megumi quickly slapped it away at the same time taking a step back. She forgot all about the puddle on the floor. But strong arms expertly caught her around the waist.

"Whoa!" 

"Sano!" 

Megumi's open palms were against Sano's chest, one clutching his shirt. She felt her whole body heat up as she realized the closeness of their position. Their upper bodies were only separated by Megumi's hands, their legs were entwined. _Comfortable_ as she was, because of surprise of the sudden moment, she couldn't relax. Memories of another man's touch eluded her fantasies. _No, this is different. This is Sano. _Beneath her touch, she could feel his heartbeat. 

His quickened heartbeat. Sano couldn't seem to take his eyes off Megumi's crystal black eyes nor could he take his arms from around her. It just seemed so right. Although he felt her stiffen in his arms, _they _just seemed so… _perfect_ for each other.

"Sano." Her voice was merely above a whisper this time. Hearing this sent chills up and down Sano's spine.

Sano wetted his dry lips slightly with his tongue. He couldn't seem to say anything. Why was it that with the so many experiences he had with women, he couldn't think of anything to do now?

As silence passed between them, Megumi began to loosen her grip on Sano's shirt. Realizing that this "magical" moment may fade away if he didn't do anything, Sano said before he could stop himself.

"…Megumi."

Megumi felt Sano's grip tighten around her and gasped at the pressure. She almost forgot that _this _guy is strong. Why, he's the only man with a killer punch and yet… _And yet his grip doesn't hurt me at all. Rather, the way he's holding me … so gentle. _Megumi began to relax.

As they continued to hold each other's gazes, they felt themselves drawn towards each other. Megumi saw Sano glance at her lips; She parted them a bit. 

Sano stared at her as if in question, _You want me to do this?_ He seemed to ask. 

Megumi could only gaze and tighten her grip more, drawing them closer together. She could now feel Sano's warm breath brushing against her face. She slowly closed her eyes as she felt Sano's face drawing near. Closer… Just a bit more… Ye---

_Toc! Toc! Toc!_

Megumi quickly jumped out of Sano's embrace, cheeks flushed. She glanced at the equal flustered and _disappointed _Sano. "I-I'll get it." Then she went out.

Sano stared at her retreating back. _Damn! What tough luck! _He kicked the ground, forgetting that it was not the kind of ground with dirt.

"Sano! Come quick! We've got to help this lady."

Author's Note: 

So, whaddya think? The characters aren't OOC, right? Anyway, just review and then maybe, with some info from you guys, I can make this better. (Isn't it good already? *wiggles eyebrows*) If you see any falsely whatever that is just too important to pass up, email me!


	3. Morning Aftermath

Author's Notes: 

Please review for I depend on it for my story's progress. Many thanks to the people who reviewed my fic! *snif* I'm so happy! This fanfic is for my sister so that she'll realize that Sano & Megumi are good together, NOT Sayo. :p No, I don't hate Sayo… not that much! 

****

If any of you know any good Sano & Megumi fics or Aoshi & Misao fics (the longer the better!), please send an email or leave it in the review section to let me know. (Most probably ones outside FanFiction.net) Arigatou!

My Beta- Reader: **Akai Kuu**. Thank you so much! *_*

Disclaimer: I don't own Samurai X, Kaoru does…

===== denotes a flashback

~*@@@*~ denotes another scene

****

Wasn't That Love?

By: g3ozLizh

Chapter 3

Hearing the faint chatter of the early morning, Megumi stirred in her sleep. She groggily opened her eyes --- gosh, they felt heavy --- and tried to stretch when she noticed that she had slept behind her desk. Her back cracked as she tried to sit upright. She felt some soreness there but not the kind of soreness she felt from her eyes, nor the hollow feeling in her chest. Slowly she stood up, feeling a bit dizzy. She was walking towards the sink when she caught her reflection on the mirror on the medicine cabinet. She stopped in her tracks. She had to double check if the reflection was really _her_, for what she saw didn't click to her mind as herself. She walked cautiously towards the mirror, as if she was afraid she would scare the woman _in_ the mirror away. Lifting a shaky hand, her fingers grazed the cold surface and flinched when she realized it was really herself. 

Scrutinizing the reflection in the mirror, she saw that her eyes were _so _red that she would have mistaken it as a very severe case of sore eyes. _My eyes _are _sore._ She sarcastically thought. Not only that, her eyes are watery and puffy too. Cheeks that were usually porcelain and smooth to the touch were very much pale and a bit sticky. Lips that were always red are now dry and dull. Her nose was red too, as if she had blown it all throughout the night. _Well, I did, didn't I!? _She now became aware of the pieces of tissue strewn all over the floor. 

She drew in a shaky breath; All of the things she saw came together and implied one thing: it confirmed that last night had really happened. Her vision blurred and she stared at the mirror blindly.

__

Oh, Kami-sama, no… She wrapped her arms around herself, body bent as fresh tears surged down her cold cheeks. She silenced her cries and in the process made her whole body shake. Her wobbly legs gave way and she fell in a heap on the floor. She rocked herself back and forth, trying to soothe the overwhelming _depressing_ emotions to a minimum. _I have to stop crying… or else I'll dry myself out._ She thought vehemently. 

Then a familiar thought entered her mind. It was almost comforting that she welcomed it openly. Almost. The memories all came rushing back to her like water coming down from the falls. Its impact was so great that for a moment, she stopped crying completely. Vivid memories of her trying to take her own life manifested themselves, as if trying to hint something. _It's all too much, Megumi. How much more are you willing to take? Could you bear to go on like this forever? To love but just to be trampled upon in return?_ But another thought argued to that. _Then again, remember what Ken-san said. You have to go on. Death is not the answer for the peace that you're trying to seek. Rather, you have to will yourself to keep on living and help others… those who are in dire need of your help. To give ---_

Yes, to give, and expect nothing back. She firmly implanted that to her mind, nodding vigorously. She stopped when her head throbbed in pain. _Maybe I'll live my life forever like this, that my purpose in being here still is to atone for my sins ----_

And never have the right to be happy?! A voice at the back of her mind countered back, as if trying to talk some sense into her. She angrily ignored that voice, not having the energy to argue with it. 

Feeling drained, for all hopes in attaining happiness were wrenched away from her, she tiredly pushed herself up into a standing position. _To give and expect nothing back…_

Give Sano the freedom… I have to stop thinking about my own happiness. We were always arguing and I think that there was never a time that Sano and I really got along. She poured herself some water and drank it. The cool liquid felt good as it traveled down her parched throat. She stared blankly at the small bowl containing the water; Her vision starting to cloud. _But I always thought --- _assumed_ may be more like it ---- that those bickering and snide comments weren't just that. I always felt… somewhere inside of me that it meant something…_ She was so afraid to say the word, so afraid that if she said it, it would make her ask herself if it really was love that Sano felt for her in the first place. _Knowing Sano, he's such a big flirt._ Megumi couldn't help smiling at that --- a little. But that personality may be the reason why he's with _Sayo_ right now, not with her. Or maybe it's the other way around. Maybe without it, she wouldn't have gotten close with him.

__

I should have seen that coming. I shouldn't have let my guard down so easily. Again, tears started to fall down her already tear-streaked face. She vigorously brushed them away. _Men are all the same. I should have learned from my first experience with Kanry ---_ She abruptly stopped. No, she thought that she had forgotten about him already. But how could she, when slightly visible bruises where still there, hidden… to where a man so violent and evil… to touch the places she would never allow…

Then her thought drifted to Sano. She had dreamed so many nights, prayed so many times, that it would be _him_ to change her notion about _that_. She had always seen vividly in her daydreams that Sano would be the one to be able to touch her… and the last. _But now, he shares that with Sayo. _She didn't realize that she was still clutching the small bowl filled with water until she felt big drops splash on her hand. She looked down: her hands were shaking. This time, the tears that she thought were gone fell in big droplets. _The one thing that I… that I…_ She dropped the bowl to cover her face with her hands. It crashed on the floor, splattering its tiny sharp pieces everywhere, but she barely noticed. To her, it was just a reflection of her own heart.

__

Damn you, Sano! Rage suddenly replaced the hollowness and sadness --- the hurt in her heart. _Was I just one of your women you came to when in need?_ _I understand that is just the way you are… but do_ _you have to do this to me… when_ _you knew all along that I loved you…_ love _you . And still you played with my feelings. _Her back touched a hard surface and she leaned on it, welcoming the feeling of coolness that it offered… so unlike her raging emotions. _Why, Sano? _Why? She had trouble breathing now. _Why did you do it? Why did you do it… with her? _She choked out. _Why? WHY? WHY? WHY?_

She had always hoped --- and she did feel that she had a place in Sano's heart. And now Sayo had taken that away from her. It seemed to be always, _always _and _she thought_ or _she felt._ It dawned to her now that these things were just… that. Unsure. Doubtful. Maybe even _never_ in the first place. So now what were those feelings she felt? Illusions? A fragment of her imagination? Now she was so confused. She didn't know where she stood anymore. So confused…

And once again, she broke down in tears.

~ * @@@ * ~

Kaoru, Kenshin, Yahiko… the three people whom she considered as her family were oh so far away. All of them are in Aoiya right now, paying a visit to Misao and Aoshi. She herself had been invited but declined the offer for she just couldn't leave the clinic… and besides, she had expected that their time away would give her a chance to sort out her feelings for Sanosuke. The latter itself had refused the offer, saying aloud that he _too_ had _important_ _matters_ to undertake. At that, he had glanced at Megumi, and Megumi's had heart fluttered, although she didn't dare show her real reaction. She had just given Sano a withering glare.

So much for her expectation. Look where she was right now. She would have just gone with the others if she had known that they would be away for that long, almost a month. And she would have accepted the offer without second thoughts if she had seen this coming. Maybe then, none of these things would be happening right now. Sure, maybe it would be inevitable that Say --- that _girl_ would come here, no doubt about it. But at least, she wouldn't have the time and space to nurture her feelings for Sano just to have it taken away from her and thrown away like a glass out the window, shattered to jagged pieces. Maybe then, with the little feeling she kept for Sano back then, she wouldn't be hurting as much as she was right now, right at this very moment, that Sano and… and _her_ will be together.

__

Really? That mocking voice made itself heard again. _Maybe it would have fanned the fire more knowing that if you hadn't had those times with Sano, you'd never be able to know if he _indeed_ had feelings for you. That for _once_ in his god-forsaking life, he _loved_ you. Loved _you_…_

And I'm supposed to be thankful for that?! Megumi thought indignantly. But she knew, even though it pained her, that that voice was right. She knew deep down in her heart that she would have gone crazy if Sano and Sa --- Sayo ---_there!_ ---were together without her having the chance to at _least_, manifest her love and be loved in return. _Note that:_ loved_._

She shifted on her seat near the window, gazing out the little orchard from her room. Earlier that morning, right after she had refreshed herself, she had gone out to tell Dr. Genzai to give her a day off. The fatherly doctor, having seen her face, instinctively asked her what was wrong. _She's so dedicated to her work that it is rare occurrence that she would give herself a rest day… unless something grave happened. _Of course she insisted that it was not a big problem, _really_. The fatherly figure just nodded, brows creased, knowing full well that it _was_ a big problem. And Megumi didn't have the strength to really convince the doctor, he knew her far too well. She would just be wasting her breath explaining things that wouldn't even strike a spot. But being the understanding person that Dr. Genzai was, he just went with the flow, knowing that Megumi herself would just come and tell him what has been bothering her when the time was right, when she was ready.

She felt guilty lying to Dr. Genzai and for leaving him all alone to do the all the work. But what could she do? She would be of no help anyway if her mind were thousands of miles away. Rather, she would just be a burden if she insisted on doing the job.

She also felt disgusted with herself. She was a doctor after all. It's profession first before personal matters --- especially emotions. Sheesh! She had been trained to stay in control, to be one step ahead of it. 

What good would it do to her --- and her patients --- if she was emotional? _Like I am right now._ A gentle breeze wafted over her face, clearing the fog in her mind, and making her realize something, bringing some sense into her depression-dense conscience. _But I'm only human after all. I easily falter, just like everybody else, one point or another in life._

A sudden urge to get out of the room made her stand up and walk towards the door. With nothing to do, and in no condition to do her customary work, she decided to just clean the whole house. 

She was surprised by the energy that she possessed -she was able to scrub the house to a squeaky clean condition. After a while, she grew tired of it, having to polish the same space over and over again. Still with the restlessness inside, she figured that since it was near lunchtime, it would be a good idea to cook food, and deliver some to Dr. Genzai's.

She resolved to go out of the front gate, along with the hot dish and maybe try to see how Dr. Genzai had been doing. She was about to round a corner to go to the clinic when she overheard a conversation that made her stop and her heart wrench.

"Did you meet that new doctor?" A man asked his lady companion.

"Oh, you mean Sayo-chan? She's not a doctor, just good at it."

"Yeah, have you seen that Sagara guy's hand? It looked better than it had for weeks!" He made a gesture with his hands. "The wounds are almost healing."

Megumi wanted to tell the man straight out that the reason Sagara's hand is healing is not due to Sayo's _skill_ but because he doesn't have time anymore to engage in his old antics for he --- _For he's busy juggling the two of you._ Her mind became clouded again so she resumed walking. Her face may have been the picture of a calm mask but deep inside, she was seething. She was still in the dark as to how Sano kept his relationship with Sayo a secret while _playing around_ with her and her not knowing it. Usually, she was very keen to these kinds of things. Having her troubled past taught her that much. _And I can't ask him that now. I don't think I want to know the answer anyway!_

She was so engrossed with her thoughts that she wasn't able to move out of the way before a person running bumped into her, causing her to stagger and lose her balance. She let out a little yelp but was caught just in time by strong hands. She heaved a sigh of relief and looked up to her saviour. She breathed in sharply.

The man stood still in his position, gaping.

It was Sanosuke.

Author's Notes: 

Yeah, I know. It's angsty, (I hope it is) just the way I like it. Angsty but with a happy ending of course. So, what do you think of it so far? Should I continue? ^,^ I really think that Sano and Megumi are a cute couple! Rurouni Kenshin should have a continuation. Also, I'm not pretty sure about what really happened between that Kanryuu guy & Megumi. So I just made a little story about them. Yeah, if you'd like to give me some facts, feel free. I'd be eternally grateful!!! Ja ne!


	4. The Final Farewell?

Author's Note: 

Hiyee, minna-san! So how's my fic going, huh? I really hope that all of you like it. And if any of you are wondering, this is an angsty fic with a happy ending. Of course, if you agree with that, if not, maybe I'll change it?. And no, the conclusion isn't near yet. Also, this fic would be written in Megumi's point of view (mostly). Maybe only a little of Sano or Sayo here and there, when the time calls for it.

****

If any of you know any good Sano & Megumi fics or Aoshi & Misao fics (the longer the better!), please send an email or leave it in the review section to let me know. (Most probably ones outside FanFiction.net) Arigatou!

Without **Akai Kuu**, the ever generous beta-reader, there'd be a lot of past-present tense errors here. So go thank her too!

Disclaimer: I don't own Samurai X so don't sue!

===== denotes a flashback

~*@@@*~ denotes another scene

****

Wasn't That Love? 

By: g3ozLizh

Chapter 4

It took a few seconds for Megumi to register in her mind that _this_ was Sagara Sanosuke, the man that she was forbidden to love, and now hated. With that thought, she jerked away from his hold and took a step back, glaring at him through tired eyes.

Sano still couldn't help but be amazed that even though Megumi's eyes looked puffy, the fire inside still continued to burn. "Sorry." He muttered, taking his hands off her and stuffing them in his pockets.

Even with those quick movements, Megumi was able to detect that indeed, his hand had healed… a little. _Maybe with just a few more weeks and continuous application of the ointment --- Stop that! _She shook her head mentally. _He has someone to take care of that for him, remember? Just think about others who need more of your care --- who deserve _my care _and_ attention_._ She was quickly reminded of the reason of her going out of the clinic. Then she realized that the container of food wasn't in her hands anymore --- rather, on the ground.

Sano noticed this and quickly bent to pick it up.

"You don't need to do that." Came Megumi's voice, calm yet cold.

Sano paused halfway and listened to what she has to say next. When she didn't say anything, he resumed picking the spilled dish.

"I said leave those things. Who would benefit from them now anyway? They are all spoiled." 

Sano pretended not to hear and gathered them in his arms, not minding sticky liquid dripping down his arm. He straightened up to look at Megumi in the eyes but found that she wasn't even glancing at him. Her eyes bored to nothingness, a blank expression in them. It gave no emotion and Sano wondered if he only imagined seeing that burning amber in her eyes just a moment ago. He didn't know how to react to this. _This_ was not the Megumi he knew. Even though he was dreading having a fight with her, he still wanted to engage in a verbal spar, if only to be assured that Megumi still hadn't lost her spirit. So, trying his luck, he said, "I'll just bring this to your place right now." Yup, just the right tactic to intimidate Megumi. It always annoys her to no end for someone to pretend that nothing major was happening, as if everything was okay and normal, especially if it involved her feelings.

But luck must have deserted him for Megumi just turned around and started walking back to the house. "Just leave them on the sink, the one at the back of the house."

Sano followed behind, dumbstruck to the way Megumi was turning out. Sure, was good that they weren't bickering anymore, he would have been glad if this happened at any other time, but not now. Megumi was taking long strides, contradictory to the tiredness that seemed to emanate from her body. 

When they arrived at Megumi's, Sano quickly went to the back part of the house and dumped the dishes in the trash can. He just realized that they were all broken anyway. To think that even Megumi hadn't noticed! Very much certain that Megumi was not herself, he summoned all his courage and the dignity he had left (he was the reason that made her go through this in the first place). He marched in to have a talk with the lady doctor.

It just dawned to Megumi at how tired she really felt and realized the pointlessness of arguing with Sagara minutes before. If he wanted to act that way, _fine_! The hell _she_ cared. Her life was already in tumbles as it was, more than she herself could handle; She's not about to jump into another fray with that rooster-head just so that she could cry herself out later about it. _Hell_, she'd been trying to forget him, to not have anything to do with him. She had gone directly to the dining room where she absentmindedly grinded and smashed some of the medicinal herbs. Pausing, she asked herself what kind of medicine she was making. She thought for a moment but finding no answer, she just shrugged her shoulders and continued working.

That was the time when Sano entered the room. He saw the way Megumi was staring into space and the smashed herbs scattered on the table. This was worse than he thought. Not only was Megumi _so _not-Megumi, she was also making herbs that might actually_ poison _rather than _cure_ her patients.

He stood just a few feet away from her. "What are you doing?"

Megumi smirked slightly but from afar, her face seemed to still be expressionless. She still did not look at Sano. "I'm making some medicine, to make up for my lost time." 

"No you're not." 

Megumi kept on grinding. "Oh?" She flicked her hair back, as if challenging Sano to say more. "Then _tell _me, _Sagara_, maybe _you _know? You know these kinds of things, right? I mean, you've _studied _to ---"

"I don't need to undergo anything to pinpoint that what you're doing right now isn't making medicine." Sano couldn't believe what he just heard. He knew that Megumi is aware of his _illiteracy_ and even Yahiko had teased him about it in more than one occasion. But to actually hear it from Megumi, and in such a nasty manner… 

Megumi let out her breath in a rush, trying to give Sano a hint that she was not interested in what he had to say and that he could just leave right _now_. 

Sano just stared at Megumi, hard, as if trying to will her to look up at him, or to allow him to see right through her head. When she started to hum, nonchalantly as if no one was there but her, Sano had _had_ it. He purposely marched toward her and grabbed her, almost roughly, by the arm, making her stand up and face him.

"What are you _doing?!_ Let me go!" Megumi tried to wrench her arm from Sano but the latter proved to be very strong. 

"Listen to me, Megu --- hey _stop_ that!" He had to restrain her with both his hands to keep her in place.

"Let GO!!" She pushed Sano away with all her weight. Sano took a few steps back, _merely_. "What's _wrong _with you?! I didn't ask for you to stay, you can leave right _now!_" Fire burned in her eyes.

_Well, she hasn't lost her spirit alright._ Sano thought bitterly. "Megumi, would you try to be reasonable today?"

"Ohohoho. Look who's talking? And what's with this reasonable crap? For what?" She rubbed her sore arms from Sano's grip. He noticed this and was greatly sorry, but now was not the time for asking forgiveness.

Sano exasperatedly gestured with his hands. "Just look at yourself! I --- "

"Well, _thanks_ for noticing my appearance. That's very thoughtful of you. Remind me to note you as one of my --- "

_Or maybe it is the time._ "You know very well that _that's _not what I'm trying to say here." Sano's expression changed from troubled to almost serene. "Please, Megumi. A lot of people are expecting you to be… not in this state." Sano finished lamely.

Megumi narrowed her eyes. "Why not ask yourself why I'm like this?" Her voice dropped by a pitch. Tears were threatening to spill but she kept her ground. 

"Megumi, you know how you still mean so much to me, you've been caring for my wounds for --- "

"Huh? So that's why you're doing this!" She took a step forward. "_Why?_ Sayo solely can't take care of that for you?" She knew that Sayo could, much as she hated to admit it. "Am I _really_ of diminutive significance in your life?" It was bad enough that Sano couldn't flat out say that he loves _her_, let alone treat her as just… _that_. "Just some doctor who makes a fuss every time you get yourself cut. Is that all I am to you? Oh, before I forget, I just happen to be a woman too, who's…" She couldn't say it. Not when he was in denial. What happened the night they confronted was just… He was just faking it, to give her what consolation there may be. She smirked._ Some consolation!_

Sano heaved a heavy sigh. "I'm not the only one who needs you --- "

She was not going to lose to him. Not anymore. She wouldn't let herself. No matter what ensues, whatever lingering feelings there may still be… it's just not fitting anymore. "Oh, so that's what you're trying to get at. You're concerned about my professional life? Well, let me tell you this: I'm doing fine. You're less one of the many burdens that I have, thank you."

"I'm not talking about you being a doctor here." Sano was already losing patience and he had up to _here _with Megumi's attitude. But he would stay, no matter what, for her own sake.

"Then just get the hell out! If it's not about my being a doctor that we're arguing here, then I don't see the point of this!" She poked Sano hard right on the chest with her finger. "May I remind you that we are just on the professional level now. You don't have any right to _butt in _in my personal life."

"I do 'cuz I'm part of it!"

She scoffed. "Excuse me? Maybe you forgot what happened or who you're supposed to be _with _now. Can't you see? I'm trying to make it appear as if you'd never come into my life!"

"What about the friendship we had?" He was desperate now. Anything to hold on to to what's left of their non-existent --- _according to her_ --- relationship. "You're that shallow?" _God! Not that. I never should have said that._

"Shallow? _Shallow?!_ God damnit, Sano!" This was the first time she uttered, well screamed to be precise, his name in the whole argument --- if you could still call this an argument. "Have I got no reason enough to break any ties with you even if it's friendship? What do you want me to do every time I see you with her? Do you just expect me to smile and act like everything's all right?!" She paused to control her breathing… and her raging heart. She was about to add something but decided against it so she just closed her mouth. "I'm just human. Don't expect me to live up to your expectations as the strong woman." She said more softly this time. She was really on the verge of breaking down --- again. How much more of this could she take?

Sano softened. He could now really see the vulnerability behind the cold mask. He reached out for her hand but she swiped him away. Sano let his arms drop to his sides. Right now, he was having a sense of déjà vu. "Megumi, please. If you're only willing to take me back…"

_Oh, god, yes_. Her heart screamed. But her mind --- Megumi vigorously shook her head. "No." She turned her back to him. _C'mon. _Her heart urged._ Let him know, even just a little…_ "Even if I want to --- " _There!_

At this, Sano held her by the arms and made her face him. He stared down at the pools of water ready to fall down her cheeks. His heart broke just seeing her like this. 

Megumi coul;d just stay this way for all eternity. Even though she felt like hating Sano for the rest of her life, she couldn't deny the security and love she felt every time she was in his arms. Megumi was about to tell Sano that they should just drop the whole thing. She was beginning to think, maybe Sano had a point when he suddenly said, "Then there's no problem." 

The nonchalance in his voice, as if what they are battling their hearts out was just like deciding who was going to pay for tonight's dinner, made Megumi realize the wrongness of it once again and that Sano still hadn't gotten into his thick head the graveness of what he had done.

Megumi pushed him away. "Are you blind or something?! Have you got no feelings?! Can't you see what you're trying to make me do?" _How can Sano be so insensitive? _She thought disbelievingly. _Was he asleep the whole time this thing happened?_ "For god's sake, Sano! You got a girl pregnant and you're just expecting me to be cool about it?"

"I swear to you, Megumi. I don't remember anything that happened between me & Sayo the night I was drunk --- " He stopped immediately, the things he had just spoken sank in. He _was_ drunk that night, he was sure of that but what he _couldn't _be sure of was what had happened after that. His brow furrowed remembering something. _Magnolia scent… Oh, shit!_ He cursed, as reality sank in once more.

Megumi must have sensed comprehension absorbing in. "Thinking, Sano?"

Sano could barely look at her in the eye anymore but he did raise his head, slowly.

"Yes, you were drunk! And what better to lose yourself into. You let yourself get lured…" She finished silently,_ …when you knew how much _I_ wanted you. _She hastily wiped the tears away with her fingers that just trickled down her pale cheeks. "Please, just leave." She felt so tired.

Sano stared at her, determination still in his eyes. _I won't let you go, Fox._ _I will never…_ Telling himself that he could come back to talk to her again… He then quietly turned and left.

She leaned back against a wall, watching him going out the door. A very tiny ironic smile crept to her chapped lips._ Just like what happened. But I think… this is the final goodbye._

Author's Notes: 

Well, now. That took almost all my brain cells out. I really want it to appear that as if they're really on the verge of totally not speaking to each other --- of forgetting. But I also want it to portray that beneath the cold exterior, there are still the flames… OF PASSION!!! Oopsy-poo! I'm so corny! Ehehehe…

And yeah, sorry if I don't reply to your emails most of the time… ^,^ But do email me. 

__


End file.
